Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
