My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
