I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize