Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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