Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
this boner is exhausting
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
