yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
