Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize