Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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