you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
