Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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