i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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