That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize