i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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