his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize