Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
