guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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