New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
