Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize