he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
