Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
