Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
