Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
