And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize