I hope mine doesn't look like that
I smell stomach acid.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When did angry sex become our thing?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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