I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize