I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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