If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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