Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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