Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
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