I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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