Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
