I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
