Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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