nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
