Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
