This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
