We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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