Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
