i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
