You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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