The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
