I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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