he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize