i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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