we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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