This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize