I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
