That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
