You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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