Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
