the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
