you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
