there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
