He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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