so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
