You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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